Monday, May 9, 2011

Thought of the Day

I would like to thank everyone who offered their support, hugs, and love after reading my rambling blog post yesterday. Thank you for being our friends, and thank you for listening to me go on, and on, and on....

Two things happened after my emotion filled purge yesterday. First, my friend, Ahnalira, posted something on her Facebook wall last night which really spoke to me: All feelings matter.

Then, earlier today, as I was reading an email from a MPD (fancy, medical name for Mom's freaky blood disorder) list and support group that I haven't gotten around to unsubscribing from, this quote came up as the 'Thought of the Day'.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr

My sister loved this quote.

So did Mom.

Even if you don't believe in God, just go ahead and insert the person or thing which gives you strength into that quote. I am all about personal choices, and I can't bear the thought of someone missing out on such a positive message!

My heart would love to believe that I was meant to see those things as a gentle (or possibly, smack me upside the head?) reminder. Ahnalira's post was clear to me, but I've been thinking all day about that quote. My thoughts?

To me, this quote is all about trusting in yourself.

It's about being brave enough to make the choices and changes that are necessary to make yourself a better person. Not so much for others; mostly, for yourself.

It's about being wise enough to figure out what things are available for change. For example, I can't change that Mom is gone. Trust me, I would if I could. I bet if you had any control over that, you would change it for me as well. I know that for a fact because anyone who takes the time to read our blog is pretty awesome like that!

Since none of that is possible, though, there is something very important that I can do. I can start by embracing those crazy emotions and by giving myself the permission to cry at things that others may not find as a trigger for tears. Perhaps it might be a flower, or a coffee cup, or even the scent of medical tape.

Yes, I know the medical tape thing is weird. It reminds me of Mom, though, so that makes it okay. For you, it might be something more, ummmm, normal?

According to Mark, the best thing I can do is to stop being so hard on myself about the way I am dealing with days like this. He's so wise, that man of mine!

I know it won't be easy, but if I take it one step at a time, it won't be so difficult. Just like getting on the treadmill, and trying to meditate, and eating well, I know it will make me a much healthier woman. After all, if Mama isn't happy and healthy, no one is, right?

So today, I shall start with some positive, happy thoughts!

Happy Birthday, Mom, or Mommy, or Grammy, or Gramster, or The Gramatola of Rockinrolla, or Rusty, or Wilson, or PG Funk, or G-Funk Railroad, or Mama V.

If love was measured by the many terms of endearment you were known by, you would be the wealthiest woman in the world!

No wonder you let us get away with it for so!


Tink *~*~* said...

Happy Birthday, Wison :)


Debbie said...

Happy Birthday Grammy! Now give your daughter a sign that it's all going to be alright.

Let go and let God!


Starwars1993 said...

*~*~Happy Birthday Grammy aka Wilson!~*~*

The Serenity prayer ,one of my Mom's favorites and mine too.=0)

You have to grieve Mare and NOT feel bad about letting yourself go in front of people.I understand how special your bond with you Mom was and NO ONE BUT YOU can decide/know when the pain will lighten up but I'm sure it will never go away.

I know YOU will not let it drive you down,that you will get up again and feel light and happy when thinking of are on your way my dear ,sweet friend by writing this blog and sharing.=0)


Mare said...

Thanks, friends. *hugs*

Since I didn't feel much like cooking tonight, we treated ourself to one of Mom's favorites, Chinese. Maybe later this week when I am feeling better, I will bake a cake in her honor. I know a few people in this house who would really enjoy me being all kinds of sentimental. ;)