Friday, February 19, 2010

Flashback Friday-Where does the time go?

Do you remember when you were younger and time moved by ever so slowly? Whether it was waiting for Christmas to arrive or counting the days down until the end of the school year, the days just seemed to drag on by. Then, once the day (or summer) arrived, it sped by with the speed of light! How unfair was that to a kid?

Now, as an adult, it seems even worse. I could seriously end up with a case of whiplash if I dared to catch sight of our life as it whizzes by. It doesn't matter if it is a good or bad thing; there are some days when I wake up and wonder where the time has gone.

I will never forget the date of February 20th. Originally, it was the anniversary of the first wedding I was asked to be a part of. What a happy time for our friends, and an exciting one for me; a bridesmaid for the first time.

A few years later, it was the day when we lost my sister, Renee. After that, it sort of changed the meaning of that day.

Every year, I try to remind myself to not dwell on a day. How stupid is that? We don't just miss her one day of the year; we miss her every single one of them. I've said that to myself (and maybe even to you!) so many times that I must sound like a broken record.

Mom and I were talking about it this morning, and she's feeling the same way. Thank goodness I am not the only one! Maybe it's that whole milestone thing? Tomorrow, it will be 15 years. How can that be? Wasn't it just yesterday that I put my arms around her and gave her a hug as she walked out of our house?

Just last week, I was reflecting on the fact that I have baked 20 birthday cakes for Mark. I guess it would make sense then that it seems like yesterday that she took my arm, escorted me down the aisle, and cried tears of happiness right along with me as I took Mark's hand.

And it feels like yesterday that she came through our receiving line, reached out to hold my face, and made us both cry again when she told me how beautiful I was and how much she loved me.

Is this what happens when time goes by and we grow older? Will I still do this 15 years down the road from now? Maybe it's her own way of making sure that she's never forgotten.

As if that could ever happen. I know we aren't the only ones who miss her.

Today, instead of dwelling on the day, I choose to think of all of the people whose lives she touched. She was so loved, and she loved us all in return. In my heart, I believe that was her gift to us all.

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